Make Sure You Commit To Another Person For The Right Reason

It is crucially important that you commit for the right reason, and that right reason is deceptively simple: you must want to commit. Social pressure, awareness of what is the "right" thing to do in life, and fear of loneliness are not sufficient reasons for commitment. You must truly want to commit to one person and come to it on your own terms.

Practically all men and many women experience the desire for novelty and variety when it comes to romantic partners. They want attention and affection towards them to flourish and they want to re-experience it again and again. Two of the most common stages in life where this drive is particularly strong are (1) the early stages of dating where a person discovers new things about love, intimacy and sex and enjoys the attention from different members of the opposite sex; and (2) when a person gets out of a long relationship and experiences a desire to "make up" for all that time that he / she has been "deprived" of the pleasures of dating. Many people desire novelty and variety their entire life, and it never fades, while most people seem to come to a realization at a certain point in their life, after dating different people becomes repetitive and unfulfilling, that they want to develop a deeper, more fulfilling relationship with one person where the two would care for each other and will be more deeply involved in each other's lives.

It's a mistake to commit and settle down with another person if you haven't come to that realization on your own terms. Craving novelty and variety contradicts and defies commitment, and committing at that stage of your life will make you and your partner unhappy and will very likely lead to your unfaithfulness.

Thus, make sure that you commit for the right reasons - you commit because you want to commit and you don't feel that it's much of a sacrifice for you to give up on dating. You must be looking forward to committing to your romantic counterpart. Otherwise, that step is premature.

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com
Revolution in Dating & Personal Growth